I’m Jake. I live in Korea. I sleep until 3pm every day. I know all sorts of interesting and shady people. I’ve lived in Korea for far too long. After I got married, most of my single friends and lady friends ditched me. I explore Seoul (at night) and I connect with other lonely humans. Sometimes I write my stories in my head, chart them out, edit them, and format them. When I’m ready, I type them out once and hit the post button.
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The Prestige 
Could you recommend some books or make a post about it? Feeling like making an Amazon order
**Private message**
-BOK
Acknowledged.
Love your blog Mr. Prestige. Check it every day. I too am one of the few non-solder-teacher types. In my spare time I’ve written a novel about flannel-wearing, flabby, Canadians. Would be honoured if you could (in the words of another well-known blogger) “pimp my blog”: http://thebluebells.wordpress.com
Two things…
Where did you get Ottumwa, IA from as the source for the evil Korean women article?
Seriously consider expanding this idea into a complete website. I’ve been joking about doing a site the turns the tables on the Korean media with absurd hilarity for a few weeks, but I’m lazy and don’t do websites. You apparently have stamina, motivation, and web knowledge, so you do it. I’ll help you get started:
Ideas for articles:
1. North Korea plans to invade South Korea. This will be a bloodless invasion because North Korea has developed a missile that can launch parachuted hand mirrors which will blanket the countryside. Once launched millions of hand mirrors will blanket the country. The overriding vanity of South Koreans will be their undoing as they all stop whatever they are doing to stare at themselves in the mirror. North Korea will then waltz in and seize control.
2. Koreans eat non-Korean babies. (I know, its on the nose, but isn’t any more insane than the shit the Korean media says, and in fact is apt because of that. And don’t forget, the greats steal, and if you’re going to steal rob someone worth robbing.) That’s also why Koreans are so against half-breeds. It is verboten for Koreans to eat other Koreans, but the smell of waeguk agi, even half-waeguk, drives them into a feeding frenzy. They break the unbreakable taboo because of this, and that makes them leap off of cliffs to their deaths. (Seriously, on the nose, but c’mon. It’s got the implication, if well written, that Koreans are both zombies and lemmings, and taking the piss out of herd behaviour is good fun. As is eating babies.) Plus, the Chinese do it, and we know that Korea really is just China, right?
3. Fan Death No Myth. It turns out that fan death is real. LG and Samsung have been marketing fans that DO cause fan death in Korea for years. It has been sanctioned by the government as a way to control population growth. Both companies will now be exporting these killer fans to China and the US, at the request of both governments. In China these fans will be gifted to democrats and Christians. In America they will be sold at Wal-mart.
There you go. Good luck. Get to work.
You should teach a creative writing class. My ideas and sources often materialize out of thin air, or are based on real life observations and experiences that I have.
Brilliant stuff, great dry humor..listen man, I’m hoping we can chat via e-mail, I’d like your advice on some of the things you’ve mentioned..get back to me if you can
my throw away email address is jaketheexpat@gmail.com
Charisma Man!
I knew that big blonde head was familiar somehow.
Hey fella,
Could you help a fellow expat down on his luck?
I need backlinks in the worst way. More than Bogart needed a meal in Sierra Madre. Gotta stay above the fold on Google. Would you mind dropping my site into your blog roll? Who knows, some of your readers might fnd a useful teaching resource.
Happy to return the favor.
Cheers,
eslwriter
the brains behind http://www.eslwriting.org
great stuff. I really want to see who that facebook chick is.
Hey Jake,
great blog!
This year’s Darwin award went to a Korean man:
Great find